The Un-cooler Than You Blog

Warning - I say the "F" word in here a lot. Please don't tell my mom on me, or tell your mom, OK?

So, Justin wrote about the Lakeview Lounge closing down. I didn't know that, but hey, it's about time. He even posted a link to some pictures, in case you never got to see NightWatch in action.

Across the street, it's a bank now - but that used to be the Plantation Steak House, owned by the DiMartino brothers. My grandmother was a waitress there. My mom and dad met there. Pretty much every pizza we ordered (the "Broadway" pizza!) was from there. It kicked the LL's ASS, and back then, in the 70's, the LL was a complete and utter shithole. And back then, shitholes weren't cool or hip.

Then, about 5 years ago, a friend of mine wanted me to go with him to the Lakeview Lounge. I was all 'Huh?' since I was pretty sure that the LL was turf that didn't belong to me. Yet, there was a bunch of hipster assholes thinking they were beyond cool for hanging out and disrupting the regular bar of a bunch of old Uptown drunks. I was pretty disgusted. This was their turf. It's not the playground. People there were all "ooooh, it's so dirty and urban." FUCK YOU, people from the suburbs or small-towns who move here to go to art school. Everyone was doing just fine without you and your irony laden Friday nights.

I was totally thrilled when the management got wise and started overcharging these jerks for drinks. Hey, you wanna go look at animals in the urban zoo, you gotta pay admission. I also hope that the owner(s) got assloads of money for the building, where soulless condos will be built, displacing the people who have lived in Uptown for years to get affordable studio apartments near the train. Fuck you condo lovers. Respect someone else's turf.

Which reminds me of a story. There used to be another bar in Uptown that was primarily frequented by Native Americans. There were so many fights there, people just called it the "Bucket of Blood." So, it got torn down right? And the regulars, they were so bummed out and had no place to go - they would buy beers and go sit in the rubble and drink. And fight! I'll bet none of you urban pioneers are cool enough to do that. So, Justin, thanks for making my blood boil about this issue. I'm glad it won't be one anymore!