The Un-cooler Than You Blog

Who! Who-Who! (sing that to the tune of Who Let the Dogs Out! It's fun!) My Skiles pic this week is kind of a "pre-Skiles-Face" pose. It's Skiles, taking a deep breath... the steam will slowly start to leak from his ears, and then we get the full-on "What a FYOUSEEKAYIENGEE JOKE!"

Well, the nominees for this week's Skiles Face are...

The Cast of Survivor - why don't you vote Stephanie out already? Dummies.
The Bulls - why are you out of town tonight? You should be making celebrity appearances at the CHA fundraiser Scratch & I are attending tonight.
Me - why did I pay cash for so much stuff before checking to see how our pay periods were going to roll in? Sheesh, ME!
Parking Lots - I just hate them.

In other Skiles News, I have decided that my life long dream (in the Bobby Jon sense) is to see Skiles at the grocery store, so that I could do two things:
1. Secretly place a bag of lemons in his shopping cart while he isn't looking;
and
2. Watch him give the Skiles Face to the self-checkout kiosk.

OK, that's it for now!

Thursday is December 1st. Huh? Scratch and I want to have a party. We had decided on the night before new years eve, and the very next day my friend Di sent out an invite to HER night-before-new-years-eve party. Waaaah! Then we realized that the 17th is the Saturday before Christmas Eve. Jinkies! That's a lot we have to get done in a pretty short period of time. For anyone who thinks online shopping is solving all problems, I say why do I still not have pantyhose in November - yes, because I look at how much 6 pairs of opaque tights costs in my online shopping basket and give the computer the finger. Online shopping is too efficient! And it shows exactly how much money you are spending, and you don't walk away with a handy shopping bag that bites into your fingers as you walk to the car. That said, there's no way in heck I'm going to Old Orchard or any other mall-esque parking lot mob scene. So folks, if you get a gift from me, it will be from:

• Cost Plus. Near work. I know, you don't need a stinky candle or a monkey doll. Maybe a bottle of wine, you boozehound!
• Urban Outfitters. Yuck! But convenient, and at least not...
• American Apparel. They have a store in the building where I work, and I'd still cross the street to go somewhere else. I hate hate hate their ads and displays.
• Borders. Maybe. I always get super-annoyed at the Borders employees/shoppers. It's like a miniature shopping mall, and all of the merchandise looks slightly pawed.
• Myself. I will knit you a hat. I am slowly becoming the crazed aunt from A Christmas Story who will start making bunny suits for my nephews. Stop the madness!
  

Have you figured out where I work yet? I'll give you a hint: within one block of these stores!

Now, back to parties. While they appeal to the lazy side of me, since I don't have to leave the apartment, I've never been much of a hostess. I've always been more for "Meet you at X Public Place" than "Hey, come on over!" Now that we are getting older and lazier though, I guess parties are where it's at. I have decided upon a theme, which is Pee Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special. I watch it every year during the Christmas season. I'm thinking lots of fruitcake and fun - too bad the Del Rubio Triplets are mostly deceased, or maybe I could get them for like to sing WInter Wonderland. I wonder if Grace Jones is available? Does anyone who reads this blog remember when Grace played at the club across the street from Bistro II and the fire department had to shut the club down for overcrowding? Oh for you youngsters Bistro II is what the Eagle used to be called. I digress.

You may have been thinking while reading my Thanksgiving post, why no bullet point for la familia de la Magpie? Because they get their own POST, people. That is how cool they are.

• Mommy: The coolest mom ever. What better way to spend Thanksgiving Day than with my mommy, cussing over hard-to-peel hard boiled eggs, listening to Cat Stevens and (her recent favorite) Nelly. I can't make her like Kanye West, but whenever I hear the Hey Mama song I tear up thinking about how awesome my mom is.
• Brother: My brother and I are close in a 'we don't really talk, or hug, or anything' way - we have a mental connection that expands beyond the basic "let's make mom crazy" way. For a year or two we worked together and I really miss that.
• Seestar: My sister is the complete opposite of me in so many ways. But the fact that she is 7 years older than I am means I was exposed to all kinds of cool music and movies way before I would have if I'd had no siblings. She also has an awesome family and lives in the suburbs now with her husband and my four awesome nephews.
• "New Family": My inlaws in Crown Point are kind people who are fun to visit. Scratch's extended family in Pittsburgh is a group of tight-knit folks who are fun and funny.
  

So, YAY Family! W00t!