Wednesday, April 19, 2006
The New Sniffle Strategy
This morning, I sat next to a perky, 20-something blonde who was sniffling like all get out. It was a chorus, a fugue, of sniffles. I started thinking I was going to go insane. It was sniffle torture. That's when I concocted my new plan.
First, I thought of buying a big box of tissues. When the sniffling starts, I could whip the box out of my bag and just hold it up. That way, anyone who wanted one could just take it. Then I realized that people would think I was crazy. I might get some moniker like "Krazy Kleenex Lady" or something. So I fine-tuned.
At CVS, I bought an 8 pack of pocket-size tissue things. While I would love to put decorative labels on them that say things like "See a sniffle? Pass these on!" or, more honestly, "You're Disgusting!" I don't want to draw negative attention. So here's what I'm going to do:
At all times, in addition to my own little pocket-pack, I will carry 2 or three extras. If the person directly in front of me, behind me, or next to me starts up, I will politely offer them the packet - I wish there was a way for me to individually wrap just a couple of tissues without making them look 'tampered with' - come on, tissue makers! Make something called a 'courtesy pack' that is cheaper just for me, OK? Until that happens, I will encourage them to keep the whole pocket pack. I will not say anything else. Maybe "You're Welcome!" if they say thank you. This will be my new hygiene revolution. One sniffler at a time.
Sure, this will cost me a couple of dollars a week. But I think the peace of mind is worth it. You can thank me later. I'll be posting on weekdays to let you know how my plan goes. If I can get good at it, maybe I will use my cell phone camera to take pictures. But I doubt it.
I'm looking for sponsorship - any tissue companies out there want to supply me with some freebies?