The Un-cooler Than You Blog

Stay off the porch, Chicagoist! Here's the thing about hip hop shows: I'm not a huge fan. The last show I was at featured Kool G. Rap and Ma Barker. Ma was around 7 Months pregnant and jumping around on stage at Metro screaming obscenities into the mike. Not exactly a proud moment for women everywhere, and yes, it turned me off. BUT, if you like hip hop, and go to hip hop shows, then you are used to this kind of scene and the way things go.

Chicagoist wrote this damning article about Ghostface, quoting Pitchfork as backup, to say waaah waah the Ghostface show was a nightmare and I'll never buy a Ghostface record again! And hey, the writers at Chicagoist and Pitchfork have every right to their opinions, and if I got my head split open at a show, I wouldn't be too happy about it, either. But have either of these guys ever been to Joe's for a hip hop show before?

Sources close to Un-Cooler Than You are also way inside with hip hop promoters and performers. Note: That still does not make me cool. And here's the thing:

• Hip Hop shows, like LOTS of live music shows, almost always start late, and usually have SEVERAL opening acts. The fact that the lineup wasn't what you wanted, well I feel the same way about Sufjan Stevens's opening act at Metro. But that isn't making me boycott Sufjan.
• If Tru Life was repping NYC, and dissing Chicago, then it's the crowd's fault for getting out of hand just as much as it is Tru Life's. And come on, if bottles start flying around, you take cover. The same way if poop starts flying at a GG Alin show, you take cover. The same way that if you go in the slam dance pit at a punk show and get your shoulder dislocated, you brag about it or kick the person's ass who did it to you or whatever, but don't blame the band. The same way if you start getting info mailings from neo-nazi organizations after attending a Skrewdriver show, you... well you know what I mean right?
• Finally, and I'm just going to direct-quote my source: " I heard the Vakil show (Molemen to Pitchfork and Chicagoist - They can't even get the details right) was well-received. He's one of the city's more prominent underground rappers, and the Molemen are one of the
  city's most highly respected production teams. Swollen Members do suck."

And there you have it. I'm not saying it was fine for people to get injured instead of "hyped up" but at the same time, if you want to be all badass and hip hop, you can't have it both ways.

So until next time... your friendly neighborhood curmudgeon is signing off, but this is just a really funny site right here.