Friday, May 26, 2006

Why Dear Abby Is with the Comics

I never understood, until reading it today. I laughed out loud at the second letter, where essentially a woman complains about her husband and closes with the fear that he is bisexual. Huh? While I'm sure she has helped people with their real problems, I sometimes think this is insane. I never realized the comic potential before, I was usually just annoyed that there were not more comic strips in that valuable real estate above Bridge with Omar Sharif and the Daily Crossword.

I am going to start a "Dear Maggie" column here at un-cooler than you. Here are the rules:

1. Letter must be three short paragraphs.
2. The first paragraph must compliment me, for my problem-solving skills, and also yourself, for being a devoted reader and all-around swell person.
3. The second paragraph must describe a situation or relationship.
4. The closing paragraph must end with a question completely unrelated to what you described in paragraph 2. It is acceptable to reiterate your virtue in this paragraph
5. Sign it however you'd like.

Dear Maggie:
I'm a longtime reader and an avid un-cool follower. I consider myself to be a good person, never judgemental of others. I'm writing to ask your opinion about a certain person I know, we'll call him "Jebediah."

Jebediah and I work together in an office. It's a nice place, and there's free coffee. While not in the same department, we frequently see each other in the hallways and exchange a friendly smile to acknowledge one another. Our bosses are great pals and often golf together on the weekends. Jebediah is not a stylish man, but is always polite and never foul-smelling.

Maggie, I'm a nice person - should I invite Jebediah to attend the Dateline taping where I confront the man who abducted me when I was 10 and forced me to eat shoe laces in a cave? He may or may not be a crack addict.


Wants to be Nice

I will answer anything posted in the comments.

Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home
« chicago blogs »

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Free Web Counter
Web Counters eXTReMe Tracker