Friday, June 30, 2006

No, I haven't banned blogging...

It just seems like it I guess - it's been a whole week! And what a magical week of control freak heaven it has been.

First foie gras & smoking inside, then cell phones while driving. This week was trans fats and smoking outside on the beaches. What gives? Is it really all about Ed Burke? Can he be that obsessive that he thinks banning things will make better citizens? Or is it something else...

I've decided that all this banning is a pot head conspiracy. PHC, if you will. Why? Because pot is illegal. For years, it's been cool to smoke pot, but not to smoke cigarettes, for various reasons presented by the Pot Council of America or whatever. So I think I've figured out their plan.

They've got Ed Burke and Natarus in their pocket. They keep banning, and banning, and banning, until finally Daley gets fed up and says Uncle. Then they make their move by swapping foie gras and trans fats for non-medicinal pot smoking being legalized. A brilliant plan.

How I'd like to see it play out:

Marijuana gets legalized and can be purchased at Whole Foods, Fox & Obel, and CVS.
The taxes on a pack o weed make them about $10/pack, just slightly more expensive than cigarettes but it's worth it for the organic-ness of it.
Pot heads celebrate their freedom by...
Then, Ed Burke realizes he's been played. Pot is unstoppable. Any group that tries to ban the act of pot smoking on the beach, in clubs, in restaurants is immediately branded a square and told to relax. Ed Burke pays for studies on the harmful effects of pot. Nobody listens. Meanwhile, cigarette smokers still can't smoke anywhere, so they are this renegade group who only smoke in their homes or when 'it's cool' - like when there is enough pot smoke somewhere that they can get away with a Camel Light.

There's my morning conspiracy theory. Pot Heads. Yes.

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