The Un-cooler Than You Blog

And, coming from me? That's saying something. Why, just this morning, Scratch described my penchant for interrupting him in the middle of a story to interject some monologue as my "commercial breaks." But OK, this is a good story:

I like this band called Dungen. I decided to like them after I saw them on Conan a few nights ago. Scratch, being the music guy he is, bought the CD for us the next day, and I listened to it in the car on the way to work this morning. Random thoughts while listening to them included:

• I can't understand what they are singing (in Swedish.) Maybe I can learn to sing along phonetically - like the opposite of Abba singing phonetically in English. I'd be the "Abbasite." har har.
• Wow, I should blog that. I'm so funny, I slay myself.
• What if they are singing about hos? And killing cops? But I am all happy listening to them?
• I wonder if this is what babies think when their parents play music.

OK - so I get to work, and I have a *little* bit of time to check out their website. And I realize that the bass player looks a lot like the guy who played Peter in Jesus Christ, Superstar, the movie version, in the thick curly blond hair department at least. Mmmm, Peter, don't you know what you have said? You've gone and cut him dead. That is my favorite part of the movie. Well, that, and when Peter is all "Hang on Loooooooord, we're gonna FIGHT for you!" Peter was fine. And you didn't have to feel weird about having a crush on Peter, the rock of the church, the way you would feel weird about having a crush on Jesus (Ted Neely.)

SO, anyway - I start thinking I could post a photo of the Dungen guy and a picture of Peter, so I do the whole IMDB thing to find out who the guy who played Peter was. And guess what? GUESS WHAT? OH MY GOD GUESS WHAT?

Peter was played by a guy named Paul Thomas, who has about 10 different stage names, and has starred in, and directed, HUNDREDS of hardcore porn films. "Backside to the Future"'; "Swedish Erotica 1-99"; Aw heck, the whole list is just too overwhelming - and the heavy slant towards 'backdoor' antics was like twisting the knife. And even worse, I can't find a PHOTO of him anywhere on Google, so I can't even see him in his pure Peter state. I wondered why, being the kind of person who watches JCSS every year during Lent, and has since childhood, since it's one of my mom's favorite movies, that I never knew about this! And why nobody else seems to know or care? Until I found my new favorite filmmaker, Atom Egoyan's, awesome little article about Paul Thomas/Philip Toubus at Granta.com.

Please, please, Atom Egoyan. I want to help you make that documentary!

So, that is how a Swedish rock band on Conan O'Brien can lead to the ruining of a childhood crush. And before you even think about it, no, I am not going to rent Backdoor Lust to find out how he's looking these days. Have a great weekend!